Andrew Spiers, Adam Pound, Jordan Moxon

As LISA and other next-generation detectors demand increasingly accurate waveform models, there is a growing need for these models to precisely control gauge freedoms that had previously been inconsequential. One such intrinsic freedom is the choice of the asymptotic Bondi--Metzner--Sachs (BMS) frame. The need to control the BMS frame is particularly pronounced in black hole perturbation theory, where there has been little work to this end -- most glaringly in gravitational self-force calculations, which are in an unknown frame and encounter infrared, far-zone gauge singularities at second perturbative order. Here we present a framework for iteratively transforming to the Bondi--Sachs gauge and fixing the BMS frame on a Kerr background. This includes an extension of the Bondi--Sachs formalism to the multiscale expansions that underpin most self-force-based waveforms, introducing soft hair and a concept of ``forgetful gauges'' in the process. Our framework evades infrared divergences and naturally incorporates memory effects that had previously only ever been added ``after the fact'' in self-force waveforms, including the recently discovered ``memory distortion''. Our formalism could also be used for ringdown analysis, and we expect it to be vital for comparisons with numerical relativity and post-Newtonian theory.